Someone buy this woman a beer.

You know, I've got a four-and-a-half month old baby at home who only weighs a few ounces more than this baby does.

Yeesh.

Hmmm... I wonder.

Is J.T. the Brick an obnoxious asshole because he's an Oakland Raiders/New York Yankees fan, or is he an Oakland Raiders/New York Yankees fan because he's an obnoxious asshole?

Road trip to the Ted

The Tommy and I are going to Atlanta to see the Braves and Cubs tonight, compliments of my wife (to you other wives out there: baseball tickets make great birfday gifts). It's likely to be my last game this year, so I plan on making the most of it.

The official Braves site has Chuckie James pitching against Wade Miller, who's making his first start of the season. Should be a good game.

Acme Album of the Week

I put Concrete Blonde's Bloodletting in my car stereo about eight days ago and it hasn't seen the light of day since. I am seriously trying to wear the damn thing out, kinda like the first couple of cassettes of this album I owned back in the pre-CD days of old.

If you're not familiar with the band, I suggest you become familiar. I suggest you do so with this album. It's their strongest collection of songs, with "Joey" and "Tomorrow, Wendy" being two of the best songs the band ever recorded, in my humble opinion (and we all know that's worth exactly $1.12).

So go listen to it, dammit. You'll like it.

Labor Day

This was supposed to be a three day weekend for me. It's not. I get to work all weekend; hell, I guess that's why they call it "Labor Day".

I'm on call today; best estimate I was given was "sometime between 5:00 p.m. this afternoon and 5:00 a.m. tomorrow morning". I'm not amused.

Tomorrow isn't quite as bad. Stupposedly, I'll be heading in around my normal time, even though I should be OFF tomorrow night. Again, I am not amused.
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We did manage to get our softball game in Thursday night. Had our collective asses handed to us, but didn't play badly-- just ran into a really good team. I went 0-2, but my second AB was a sac fly that drove in two runs. We calls that "situational hitting" where I comes from.

Stupid rain

Our first softball game of the season was rained out Tuesday night; it's not looking so hot for tonight, either.

I think it's time for the Athens Parks & Recreation Department to build a dome, so's I can play some ball when it's raining.

I've misplaced last week. Have you seen it?

Damn, I can't believe I've let an entire week get away from me again; I swore I'd be better about posting-- at least every couple of days. But stupid work got in the way. Lucky me had an entire week of trying to keep up with three shift's worth of work, all by meself. Going in early every night and staying over all but one morning still has me in a hole that'll take another day or two to dig out of. Oh well.
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I've somehow allowed myself to be talked into playing softball for the work-sponsored team. Coming in from the outfield and will attempt to play first base. I've never played the infield in my life, so it ought to be interesting.

Be careful where you poop in Vegas

Las Vegas city officials have made it illegal to sleep within 500 feet of urine or feces.

What are they going to do next: take away a fellow's huggy pillow and Batman pee-jays?

I'm so money, baby!

It's official: The Acme of Foolishness is now setting the standard for top search engine results.

The visitor stats I use here at the AoF allow me to see the referring URLs to the site. It's rather interesting to check these from time to time, just to see what people are looking for and how it occasionally leads to me.

Today was a big day. An individual found me via a Google search. This search resulted in about 151,000 hits-- and little ol' me was the top result. Number One. Best site on the internet. Yep. This is big news for a blog that averages about four visits per day.

Of course, I should point out the fact that said person was looking for "horseshit balls the game". (Check it out for yourself if you don't believe me; even I can't make up this stuff.)

But Number One, is Number One, dammit and you can't take that away from me.

Goodbye, Ms. Ono!

Hooray, divorce!

Black Crowes front man Chris Robinson and his harpy wife, Kate "Yoko Ono" Hudson are splitting up! She caused much strife between Chris and his brother Rich, which led to the demise of the Black Crowes. I've had a severe mad-on for her ever since, to the point of not being able to watch one of her movies without constant mutterings of disgust and dislike.

I can only hope the brothers kiss and make up and get the Crowes back together.

Hit-and-run between the hash marks

So your defense is having a bit of trouble stopping your opponent's passing game? Titans coach Jeff Fisher has developed an innovative new defensive scheme: having the mascot run over the opposing quarterback with a golf cart.

Ah, that Jeff Fisher is one crafty fellow.

Know why television sucks nowadays?

Television has simply not been the same since those bastards cancelled The Richard Bey Show.

Check out his website and relive those blessed memories of "The Mr. Punyverse" contest.

American television at its finest, my friends. Its absolute finest.

File under: What the hell?!

It's official: Maurice Clarett is as crazy as the proverbial shit house rat.

Blogger Oogie-Boogie Man

Beware the Blogger Oogie-Boogie man: he'll eat your blog. Fortunately, he sometimes spits it out.

I've been trying to post for over a week now, but my username and password seemed to no longer exist. As in, Blogger had no record of either. I had all but left my poor blog for dead, but decided to log in this morning, just. one. more. time.

And I got in.

Hooray and such.
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I find it ironic that the words "blog" and "blogger" aren't in Blogger's spell check lexicon.